Post #12
Time has passed, and I feel able to talk rather than post cryptic smilies. In fact, the summer has slipped away and I have neglected this journal entirely. I apologise. It is time to update the thread, and tell you about something a bit shocking that many of us should be concerned about as the years pass by. It has nothing to do with male pattern baldness or testicles, but more on that story later.
To spare you the distress of trying to remember wtf I am going on about, I shall summarise events so far:
Pete’s old GTi6 dies, a bent con-rod attributed to causes unknown. He leaves it at a Garage where he can drive past it every day and grieve. Neil sees Pete’s mournful self-pitying drivel on the internet and hatches a plan. It involves an engine he knows rather well and a man called Dan. Neil persuades Dan to part with the engine. Dan is not desperate, but agrees because his interest in the 306 lies somewhere beyond the platonic. The engine is transported via Citroen Dispatch to a luxury warehouse where the weekend will happen. Jokes between Dan & Pete regarding the enticing prospect of a mid-engined GTi6 van find their way onto an internet forum, and are ignored. Friday night and Saturday are filled with manful endeavour as the front end is stripped and old engine removed. The team retire at tea-time, vowing a quiet night in and a prompt start on the Sabbath.
Which is where we continue.
Sunday, and an early start. There’s nothing like the thrill of a Citroen Dispatch HDi to get the blood pumping. I collected Dan who had spent, it seemed, the whole night spraying his face a shade of Blaze. He looked awfully hungover for a person who “hardly drinks, at all”.
Dan warned me that any requests for an emergency stop would be genuine.
We arrived without incident and raised the shutter door.
The gearbox & clutch from the deceased engine were being used. Here Dan is preparing the bell-housing for re-connection. The old clutch was in surprisingly good fettle, testament perhaps to the mechanical sympathies of a highly skilled wheelman? No. I’m just lucky that all my motoring is on the open road.
Phase 3 engine mates with phase 1 box. Full penetration was achieved following spline-reaming and a sparing daub of lube. The relief in the room was palpable. Excuse the following photos, the battery in the real camera died, so courtesy of HTC and its bukkake lens:
Old and new water pumps. We noted the vanes were now of a new material.
Although it felt metallic it was not cold to the touch, and had an almost ceramic quality.
The pump & its new home. The block showed no signs of internal stainage or mankiness, I think the previous user cooled it with de-ionised Narwhal tears.
No further pictures were taken until the belt & tensioners were changed. You could smell the tension with a knife.
After a pause during which we pondered the mintiness of this engine, the pins were removed, the belt settled minutely, and we breathed again. The motor was smoothly cranked through several rotations. All was well.
Moving swiftly, the lump is dangled. It does require a deft touch but Dan fights through his “tiredness” to guide it home.
I rather like this angle.
In position. Everything’s just going to be easy now. Wahey.
Nice gearbox oil funnel. I’m now doing these for £10 posted, £50 in carbon wrap. Better terms for a group-buy, of course.
Time for a quick sweep-up, and to restore the beast to its wheels.
It was late and there were fumes. Under such conditions creative minds flourish, and the ideas were everywhere. Here we see Dan astride a prototype GTi6 lightweight sprinter. You can tell by his face he knows life doesn’t get much better than this. At a later stage of development the mule was fitted with a Scorpion box. The results, although stunning, were impossible to capture by conventional photographic means.
Sunday ends. The job is not complete, but the car is pretty much back together and is pushed outside. The workshop is restored to warehouse.
I should take a moment to explain that clearly a lot of things are going on here that are not mentioned specifically, get skipped, or aren’t pictured.
This is because:
- Dan did it all
- Neil helped him
- I forgot what happened
- I never knew what happened
- I was smoking a fag
- Dan didn’t tell me
- Neil told him not to
- I don’t understand electricity
- Any/all of the above
I hope that makes it clearer. Thank you.
The action kicked off again on Monday evening. A few more assorted bits & bobs were purchased to complete the task. Among them a bottle labelled with a good omen, thus:
Chin re-installed.
I was getting pretty excited by this stage; having taken Neil’s Bianca for a brief spin had also charged my batteries a bit. After several weeks out of a GTi testing such a prime example had a quite profound effect on me. Such smoothness; a lovely car.
The coolant is added.
A little earlier I mentioned how everything would be easy from then on. Not so. Let me elaborate.
The engine fired, and the coolant was topped & bled on tick-over. Dan & I jumped aboard to conduct the first test. Under minute throttle openings the engine pulled smoothly and gently. As you can imagine we were being very timid, but as we approached HQ up a slight hill Dan urged me to press the metal a little. The result was “underwhelming”. Something was very wrong.
Surely the colossal HDi forces my body had become accustomed to over the preceding weeks had not re-calibrated my senses this radically? Could it be that after driving a van my 6 would feel… slow?
Dan took the car for a short drive. He returned vexed, estimating the engine was producing about 50BHP. We were hoping for more than that, really. The old engine with the bent conrod would still be good for 35 horses or so even in its shagged state. Neil stroked his chin. Dan looked a bit pale. I put the kettle on.
What’s causing the problem?
The elimination process begins. I’ll spare you the middle bit. …And the process ends.
With this. What IS this shit? Look closely…
Any ideas?
No, not Dilithium Crystals. But you’re close.
The Cat. The cat is dead. Fvcked and totalled. And the chances are it’s demise spelt doom for the old engine too. A chunk of the internal honeycomb had detached & wedged in the neck of the unit under pressure of gasflow. Thus the engine had idled sweetly but asphyxiated under throttle.
Well, you live and learn. Something to learn from this might be to avoid pattern cats.
It turned out that my mid-section was toast too, only the Scorpion on the back remaining serviceable. We chaps should not neglect our pipes; I suggest you go straight home & do a self-exam right now.
Dan fortunately had a Hoffman Sports Cat back at his place, and Neil a spare Magnex. In yet another display of community spirit (bless ‘em) these goodly components found their way onto my 6.
Check out mine auspuff, yah?
After ironing out a gremlin or two, IT WAS COMPLETE!
The car waits outside with the engine’s former host:
We set off with Neil in convoy, into the darkness. Buzzing with noise, exhaustion and exhaust. The car feels magnificent, better than ever. It’s like stepping into a well-worn old running shoe to discover it has fresh spikes. Stopping for fuel, we stand and gawp at the cars. You would too.
I was so pleased with the car I took it for a weekend away in the country. A blast across the moor which I will not forget. Fellow campers just love the Magnex, too.
And that concludes this chapter. There has been more progress with the car, and it’s going very well, but that update’s for another time when it isn’t late and I can see properly.
Dan did a great job. The man has skills, you’ve all seen his Sedan project thread (if not, why not?) and now I see how he’s made so much progress. Top marks, mate. I’m also indebted to Neil who kicked this little project off to begin with and then proved very supportive too. Nice. And me?
I just make the tea, and tell a tale or two…
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Hens teeth rocking horse poo Cossack Ph1.3
carbonfibre
Posted 17th Jul 2011 at 05:10
